Aspirations

For as long as I can remember my goal in life was to make others happy. I have for so long taken upon myself to help, fix, and heal everyone else around me. I thought it was what made me great.  I have done some pretty erratic things and have dealt with some interesting characters along the way. That is not what this is about though.

Today my best Bug in the whole world and I had this conversation, which inspired me. I have had this thought for awhile now, just floating around in my head. "Follow your heart..." At first, this seemed even more ridiculous than what  I was doing, but over time, this idea has become more appealing.

The stage has finally been set, the characters cast, and the story is ready to transform.

The greatest adventure of them all...

is a game...one that is shared only with Z. I pick a destination and create the riddle which contains the place, date, and time.I post it somewhere he will look. I arrive and wait. He stalks me all over the world. Together we write a story. A story filled with the seven deadly sins; luxuria, gula, avaritia, acedia, ira, invidia, and superbia. A story that is captured in music,  photos and blogs, videos, and messy art work. We will call them charming illusions. Look for them, hunt them down, and you will see the beauty that I live for.

Z

Things happen quickly and they excite me, give a me a reason to grow, change, and move on. I have a new muse recently, we will refer to him as Z. Z has inspired me; to dream, to hope, to persevere. He is kind and patient, he is beautiful inside and out, and he is adventurous. I hope he captures my heart and I hope he becomes a guardian angel over me....

Affliction

This- whatever it is- just keeps replaying over and over in my head. Slightly different and stronger every time. It boils around in my brain, pulsing, just waiting to erupt to the surface. Red sloshing around, pounding against the smooth white bones that formulate my skull. Throbbing, I try to breathe.
My eyes sting as the tears are squished out from my closing lids. "Breathe." I say to myself. The fat droplets roll slowly down my cheek as I inhale. The air is cool and stale, it smells too much like earth. Disgusting. I "see" purple dots dancing around on a black background. Always, purple. Sometimes they whip and whirl across the dark canvas, other times though they just seem to float along without a care in the world. I often wonder why I see these little glittering specs when I close my eyes---do they mean something? why are they always purple? I am reminded of stars and the galaxy. Comfort and hope begin to trickle up into my body as I am begin to feel cool. Suddenly,I am brought back to the pain of reality when the door slams. I lay there pretending to be asleep. Trying to be silent and still until he is gone or I drift into another nightmare. Hoping that no one ever knows.

Extreme Couponing Adventure

The problem: 
So, as I realized that I really do not like spending hundreds of dollars a month on groceries, I would try this new fad of extreme couponing.
Course of action:
 I went and got the Sunday paper, sat on the couch and clipped coupons for an hour. Then I proceeded to print more from the inter-web. I classified them all. Then I looked at the flyers for all the stores. Man, I was lost! I set it all aside until today.
Adventure:
I went and took these damn coupons to every store trying to find the best sales, use manufacturer and store coupons. I searched up and down all the rows for the perfect buys! It took hours, and not to mention, probably ticked off people who had to maneuver their carts around me! I ended up buying products that I normally didn't even know existed. I wanted to get these freebies for some Starbucks drink  I never tried.  I was sure I could figure out where they were located. I saw a lady with half a cart full of them and thought I was one the right track. Wrong! After checking three, yes three different stores, I couldn't even find the product! Then, as I was checking out at one place, the cashier laughed at me, as I was frantically trying to lay out my items and place these valuable coupons on them. I don't know what his problem was, but I was just trying to make sure everything was correct! At the end of the sale, he did manage to tell me what I spectacle his wife has become doing the same things. (At least I am not the only one!)  Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I was  finally done.
The outcome:
A great laugh at myself. I must have looked crazy to some of these people! In reality, I managed to fill up the house with groceries and saved over $75.00. However, I did not get one item for free and I hope that everyone likes what I got! I also now have the money I need for my road trip this weekend! :P

White

The color of pure snow. It falls loosely, magically, down from heights so much higher than I could ever comprehend. It blankets me; cold at first, then soothing and warm. White engulfs me and embraces me tenderly for a split second and then is gone. I like white.