Affliction

This- whatever it is- just keeps replaying over and over in my head. Slightly different and stronger every time. It boils around in my brain, pulsing, just waiting to erupt to the surface. Red sloshing around, pounding against the smooth white bones that formulate my skull. Throbbing, I try to breathe.
My eyes sting as the tears are squished out from my closing lids. "Breathe." I say to myself. The fat droplets roll slowly down my cheek as I inhale. The air is cool and stale, it smells too much like earth. Disgusting. I "see" purple dots dancing around on a black background. Always, purple. Sometimes they whip and whirl across the dark canvas, other times though they just seem to float along without a care in the world. I often wonder why I see these little glittering specs when I close my eyes---do they mean something? why are they always purple? I am reminded of stars and the galaxy. Comfort and hope begin to trickle up into my body as I am begin to feel cool. Suddenly,I am brought back to the pain of reality when the door slams. I lay there pretending to be asleep. Trying to be silent and still until he is gone or I drift into another nightmare. Hoping that no one ever knows.